Enjoying That "Old-Fashioned " Feeling

Lately, with rumors of turbulence afoot at Eric's place of employment, he and I have been commenting on how nice it would actually be if one of us was a stay-at-home spouse. Now, of course, that would only ever happen if by force - but we both think it would be kind of awesome.

Well, alright - the less money thing would definitely suck. But not having our nights filled with chores because the house is already clean by the time the other person comes home from work? Ohmygodthatwouldfreakinbeawesome.

Let's stop right there.

If there are any of you who are already in this lovely type of relationship where one of you stays home while the other works:

1. You likely have children, which means that the one who's at home is definitely still working.
2. You're probably laughing your butts off at the idea that the house will always be clean by the time the person working away from the house comes home.

But a girl can have her crazy daydreams, right?

Despite the fact that both of us work 40 hours a week, I've still been feeling like a housewife from the 1950's a little bit lately - in a good way. After I come home and walk the dog, I put on my apron (oh goodness, I love my pretty little apron), turn on the Swing/Big Bands radio channel on Slacker.com, and start preparing dinner. And I love it! All of the fresh ingredients, the chopping (sidenote: I haven't cut myself in ages! Practice makes, uh...not bleeding!), the sizzling sounds, the smells... Ahhhhh. Then Eric walks through the door and I greet him with a chipper, "Hello, Honey! How was your day?" Alright, maybe not always that last part, but you get the drift.

Of course, the down side to this is that we usually end up eating dinner between 7:30 and 8 p.m. (because fresh, healthy meals don't make themselves, you know). But it's just so satisfying to sit down to a home cooked meal made with fresh - and these days, usually local - ingredients. Last night I made a good old standby recipe (courtesy of Real Simple) of sausage, spinach and gnocchi and this time the only ingredients that weren't from the farmers' market were the garlic and the Parmesan cheese. (Fresh - no powdered sawdust from a green can for us. Trust me - once you have fresh grated Parm, you will never go back.) It honestly tasted fresher than it ever did when I made it with ingredients from Giant.

Eating well doesn't have to take hours, though. We bought wild greens and an apple from the market, and when I added some walnuts, blue cheese and balsamic vinaigrette to those - voila! A super easy, super delicious, healthy lunch.

Now don't get me wrong - I know I'm no Healthy-Local-Seasonal-Food Saint. I'll be the first person to tell you that I still make unwise food decisions. Last week in a moment of weakness (and frugality!) after a lunch hour workout (I seriously crave chocolate after I exercise), I walked through the Rite Aid that I pass on my way back to the office and convinced myself that the 14 oz. bag of peanut M&Ms would be a good idea. Certainly more bang for my (4) bucks than a smaller "single serving" bag! And maybe, just maybe, I even ate a few of said M&Ms earlier this week prior to 10 o'clock in the morning because I knew they just sitting up there in my desk cabinet, calling my name. (From now on, I think the wallet needs to stay locked up in my office when I go to the gym.)

But back to the 1950's housewife thing. Maybe that's not something I should aspire to be like. I found an article from Good Housekeeping, printed on May 13, 1955 that is titled, "The good wife's guide". Here it is, for your reading pleasure - with comments by me in italics.

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* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.  Okay, not too bad...

* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Nothing wrong with caring about your appearance. Indeed. But ribbon? Really? Guess I'm going to have to raid the gift-wrapping bag! I hope it looks pretty with fleece sweatpants.

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. I have heard that some guys are into that... Eric?

* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the house just before your husband arrives. I actually do this - I think every appreciates a tidy house, no?

* Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables. What's a dustcloth?

* Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. I'm a little surprised that they are actually instructing a WOMAN to prepare and *gasp!* light a fire! Isn't this "man's work"? Well, fine then. But I'm doing this BEFORE I go get the freakin' ribbon.

* Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. When I imagine this, I think I would be freaked out by the silence. I find the sound of the washer very soothing - it's working while I am free to do other stuff! Like wash those filthy children!

* Be happy to see him. It's very telling that they felt they had to add this instruction.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Make sure you have dried your tears and put the Chardonnay bottle in the recycle bin, as well. (Remember: a tidy house is a happy house!)

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember his topics of conversation are more important that yours. "Um, Honey?...Yes, of course, no, please - tell me about your day....Mmm hmmmm, right. Fascinating. What flavor cake did they have to celebrate Bob's retirement?...Sounds delicious. But, um, Honey?...Yeah. The house is sort of on fire. I'm sorry, I apologize - go on. You were saying? Cake, right."

* Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Or out at the strip clubs, whatever. Go right ahead, Sweetheart!

* Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. After you're done building that fire, build a rock garden with a fountain, too.

* Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Right. Would you tell your boss your personal problems? Of course not. Just keep in all inside and grab another glass of wine.

* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Like boinking his secretary? Yeah, sure. Stay out all night, Hon. You had a hard day, you might as well party all night. I'll just stay here with the fire and the clean children and the rock garden and cry myself to sleep.

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Cool OR warm?!? How am I supposed to know? Am I allowed to ask him? AHHHH, the pressure is too much!

* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Is this your husband or a 6 month old baby we're talking about here?


* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. WOW. Just...WOW.

* A good wife always knows her place. Well, we sure do now!